Light things take flight.

Heavy things hit hard.

Once on my walk I saw a feather floating along lightly in the wind. I figured it must be a metaphor for something. The above lines, admittedly less than stellar poetry, came to me. But then I had to think about what it might mean.

I think this is the lesson: though there are of course some matters that are serious and should be given the proper weight in our handling of them, many of the situations we encounter in our daily lives can become light or heavy, positive or negative, depending on the way we choose to view them.

We sometimes make things more important, more threatening, and subsequently more distressing, than they need to be, simply by the way we think about them.

One minor example in my own life is the perceived bad manners of people with whom I have casual, passing encounters. For example, the cars that don’t stop when I’m a pedestrian trying to cross the street ; the pedestrians that don’t smile or nod a thanks when I’m the driver and stop for them; the gardener who blows leaves and dust in my walking path.

Small things, but for me manners touch deeply on who I am and what I believe in. I’m not talking about Emily Post, or using the right fork, or even holding the door open for someone. What I mean is simply treating other people with consideration, kindness and respect.

It’s the same idea as Jesus’ statement: “all things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you must also do to them” – often called “The Golden Rule.” It also involves not treating others like they are less important than you. There is far too much rudeness in the world, and driving is one of those circumstances where a small choice can add to that rudeness, or replace it with politeness.

I think these are important issues. (Maybe this would be a good subject for its own discussion.) But though the principles are important, maybe the individual acts aren’t as important, or as indicative of good or bad manners as I sometimes make them out to be. At times, we’re self-centered without being deliberately selfish. We’re just thinking about getting where we want to be, not about being rude to the person trying to cross the street. We may not even notice that person. So I’m learning to give people the benefit of the doubt. 

This example shows how the way we think about things – the frame we put on them – even our expectations, can turn something minor, even innocuous, into a major grievance that unnecessarily robs us of some peace, energy or happiness. It’s a matter of perception and perspective.

Whether an event or interaction falls heavily on our shoulders, like a brick, or harmlessly floats away like a feather, depends a lot on us and how we think about it.

For instance, I’ll make this confession: When I stand on the corner of a busy road to cross the street for my favorite daily walking route, I used to tend to judge the drivers by whether or not they stop to let me cross. There is no crosswalk, so they are not legally obligated, but it seems to me that good manners, courtesy, unselfishness, and respect for other human beings does dictate that they stop if conditions allow.

In my mind I have an unfortunate tendency to put it this way: will this driver be a gentleman or a lady, or will they be a rude ruffian?

If they don’t stop, and especially if they go by fast and loudly and seem unapologetic about it, I tend to view them as inferior in manners, morals, and refined sensibilities – a real insult to mine. Then I fume for half the block, then spend the rest of the block beating myself up for not rising above it. I feel badly about my own manners if I glare at them, shake my head in disgust, or otherwise overreact.

Then there are other times when I decide that it doesn’t matter. I now try to make this my default response. I tell myself they are in a hurry to get to work, they didn’t see me, they didn’t know if they should stop, or they just didn’t think about it. I decide that if they do stop, it will be a nice surprise, a gift, but not a necessity.

If I don’t judge them, I’m much happier. I don’t have to take it personally, and I don’t have to waste energy on negative emotions about something that really could be entirely neutral. Really, it doesn’t even matter why they didn’t stop. What matters is how weighty I choose to make it.

So, if I just wait a few extra seconds, jog across the street, and enjoy the rest of my walk, that brick becomes a feather. Not an issue at all. I am so much happier when I remember this. And I feel better about myself. And once I’m across the street I don’t think about the drivers that didn’t stop at all. I don’t make it a problem, so the only thing that raises my heart rate is my jogging speed.

This leads me to another encounter with a small thing floating by as I walked, and a related thought on the power of our thoughts to shape our reality.

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Maybe It Really Is Just a Butterfly

On another walk, a brownish-orange blur fluttered near me. My first reaction, mostly unconscious, was to flinch and hurry away. Rationally or not, I am afraid of bees, wasps, and similar flying/buzzing/stinging things. I think my subconscious interpreted this blur as one of these things – a threat.

Then, as I looked closer, I realized it was really a small butterfly. Only a butterfly. Happily a butterfly. Something I not only see as harmless, but that I find beautiful and pleasant. A small, colorful symbol of joy flitting by. Okay, cliché, but don’t we all really feel that way when we see one?

Butterflies embody three basic qualities. 1. They do not hurt anyone. 2. They are beautiful, something to admire and enjoy. 3. They will usually fly away quickly and not bother you. All of these qualities make an encounter with one a positive, completely nonthreatening experience.

And then I made the metaphoric connection, as I often do with things I see on my walk: many times, more important encounters and bits of information we come across are like this. They may at first seem like a bee that may sting us but if we look closer, if we think about it the right way, maybe it’s really harmless, even potentially pleasant, like a butterfly.

This could relate to situations at work, conversations, small things we observe or encounter in our daily lives, as well as bigger things like substantial changes in our lives, work, relationships, businesses or living situations.

Our first reaction may be to feel threatened. It’s a bee, maybe even a wasp. This could hurt. But it could be completely harmless, even – like a butterfly – something good, something we could find beauty in.

This is something we can all work on in our daily lives. Will we make it heavy or light? If something is neutral, or we don’t yet have enough facts to have real reason for alarm, can we assume it’s a butterfly? Harmless, transient, containing potential for beauty or opportunity.

So here’s my challenge for you, and I’ll try it too. Let’s make a conscious effort in the coming week to turn as many things as possible into feathers or butterflies. Let’s see moments in our lives as light, harmless, attractive, or intriguing whenever possible, lightening our load when it depends at all on the weight we chose to assign to them.

Hi Everyone, this is my first post to my new blog: Read. Think. Walk. Write.

Welcome!

No, this is not, intentionally, a parody of a popular book and film. And it is not a list of imperatives, an authoritarian to-do list. It is, rather, a definition – of one writer – and a starting point – for one blog – that has such a variety of things to say it doesn’t yet know how to describe itself.

Often writing, like walking, and like life, takes shape as it progresses, sometimes going in unexpected directions, making new discoveries and connections along the way.

Most of the time you ask someone what they “do” and you mean what do they do for a living. But most of us, at least if we’re living as we should be, are so much more than what we do to make money. In fact we are much more than what we do at all. Who and what we are, our character, values, talents, personality, relationships, etc. are so much more important in defining us.

But what we do, aside from our job, is also important to who we are, and gives us interesting things to talk and write about.

And all of this can enrich our work as well, especially if we are creatives, business owners, or simply want to improve our work and personal relationships and communications.

There are four things that I do, and have done most of my life, that are part of who I am, and that continue to help me become whoever I will be. Most of these are pretty much like breathing to me – they are done almost as automatically, and are essential to life as I know it and want it.

My four things are: reading, writing, thinking, and walking. Often, they are interconnected. On my daily walks I think (new ideas, problem solving, philosophizing, a line for a poem, an idea for an article, etc.). Often I then write about what I thought about on my walk. And those thoughts I had while walking probably started with something I read sometime. And so on. They are connected, and they are, or have the potential to be, much bigger than they look at first.

It may seem that my daily walks, what I read, my thoughts and ideas, and even most of what I write might be of little interest or value to anyone outside my small circle of family and friends. But that’s not necessarily true, or at least I hope not.

What you want to know, if you are to keep reading this, is what do the thoughts/ideas/readings/writings and walks of one obscure poet/copywriter/content creator/person whose name I’ve never heard mean to me? What can they do for me, my life, my work?

First, let me say that to begin with, in addition to writing web content for businesses, I am a creative writer and poet, which means that while my product may seem a bit obscure, of interest only to literary enthusiasts, the process – that of looking more closely at things, experiencing life deeply, making unusual connections, and then communicating all of this in a way that is relevant to the human experience – is what may be of value to a wider range of readers.

Sometimes if you just step back and look at things differently, maybe with the eyes of a poet, you can change how so see your life, or a particular part of it, and even how you live and work.

We are all trying to gain new insights on how to improve our life, work, happiness, and all that it means to be a human being. My hope is that some of this poet’s thoughts may give you a new perspective, an usual idea, something you can make use of in your own lives. (I do many other kinds of work, which I will elaborate on and draw material from later, but for now, let’s see what the poet has to say that may speak to even those who don’t read poetry.)

In my mind this is what much writing, in any form, is really about. Its not just story, dialogue, theme, rhyme scheme, whatever. What a written work of art really is is a form of communication, intimate communication even, with people who would otherwise be strangers.

This is what reading did for me growing up an only child in a world I didn’t know how to fit into, and it is also what I hoped to do for others when I began to write.

That was years before the internet, and all it has done, good or bad, for communication, writers, and readers.

I started out writing journals, and have filled countless notebooks over a period of more than two decades. The next step of course is to share the more relevant of these thoughts with a wider audience. Hence, the web log, or journal, better known as a blog. This will be like my version of Emily Dickinson’s “letter to the world” but in my case I hope that some citizens of that world will write back to me. Your comments and thoughts are welcome.

I will set this one firm ground rule.: I think its a good way to approach all of life, but on the internet, when this is often not the way things are done, its especially important. ALL communication on this site will be kind, respectful, and profanity-free. Thank you for helping to make this an absolutely safe, positive place to share thoughts and ideas and to grow.

A lot of these posts will begin with something along the lines of : “On my walk today I saw/heard/thought …

Then I will go on to explain how something I noticed on my walk gave me an idea that seemed to apply to a larger area of life. Often what I read, and what I think about, on my walks and otherwise, will become material for what I write. And writing itself generates more thoughts, and the desire to read more.

They feed each other. And we, as thinking, reading, writing, walking humans also feed each other. Each unique perspective can give the rest of us some substance we can use and apply to our own life’s path.

Now, let’s try for a general definition, as a beginning.

This blog is partly about physical and mental health, especially as we deal with the challenges of growing older, and how walking and writing relate to them. It is also about new ways of thinking that could enrich our lives and work.

Just like a long walk with various paths to choose from, this blog will provide different views of life and work, different perspectives at different times, and will grow and change along the way, based partly on your feedback. So please, join me on the journey, and we’ll see where it takes us.

For now, I will try to post once a week, generally on Tuesdays. I hope you’ll keep coming back.

I’d love to hear your comments about what walking, both as physical act and metaphor, means to you and how it enriches your life and thoughts.